Update on the Kids

A little update.  Since it's been like a year...

Nora:
**Disclaimer:  I started this post when Nora was still one.

• is kind of a liar.  If you ask her how old she is she says "two".  If you ask her what her name is she says "Tony" or any other name she can think of, but most often Tony.  She thinks this is a very funny trick.  If you try to tell her the wrong name for yourself she will say "No!" with a big smile.
• has figured out that she is almost a two year old and has decided to start acting like one.  This means she has become very bossy and demanding.  We will often hear her saying to her brothers:  "out now!", "dat's mine!", "dat's not yours!", "I mad!", 
• she still has her super sweet side (and she knows how to use it)  She gives lots of kisses, hugs, and pats.  She says "I love you...so much".  She walks around frequently announcing "Nice day!" 
• She likes to "rock a baby" before nap and bed. (Meaning we rock and sing to her or play music)
• loves swimming, swinging, and "callin" (face time or skype), 
• Asks "Why?" all the time.  It's a very angry WHY when you have just told her you do not have what she wants.
• kisses any object that she likes
• we stayed at a hotel over the summer and Joe was trying to put one of the kids to bed and so when I was nursing Nora in the night and she realized that Joe wasn't in the bed she started calling out "Daddy!  Where are you?"  The sweetest.
• When someone comes to the door she says "come on in!"
• pretends to talk on the phone a lot.  Always goes like this "hi, Dada!  How are you?  Good.  It's nice day!"
• holds hands up in the air and exclaims "What?!" in the most animated fashion.
• Will bring me the bin of supplies and say "Have a tea party, Mom?"  Who could say no to that?!
• loves cats.  so so much.
• cats may only be second to babies.  OBSESSED with babies.
• has some sweet hip hop dance moves.

Silas:

• continues to have a very sweet and laid back personality.  
• he is usually the first child to show gratitude for something, which this mama really appreciates!  He will say "Thanks for taking us to the park, mom!"  or  "This is a really fun day!"
• He also knows how to turn on the charm.  Example 1:  We were talking about a friend one day and Roman said "He has a nice smile".  I agreed and asked them to list other people who have a nice smile.  Silas piped up "You know who has a beautiful face?  YOU."    I mean, swoon, right?!
• One of my other favorites was when one of my friends said to Silas "I just wanna bottle you up".  He said "What does that even mean?"  So we laughed and she explained that when you really like someone and you wish you could have them around you all the time you can say that phrase.  He immediately turned to me and said "Mom, I just wanna bottle you up".
• Funny one:  He hid under the doctor's desk when he had to get 5 year shots.  ha!  It took us quite a while to coax him out.
• goes to a program called Sports Club at the athletic club.  It's basically what you think:  they introduce kids to a variety of sports while I go to kickboxing.  One day when I picked him up I asked "Silas, what did you do at Sports Club today?"  His response:  "I got this beautiful sticker".

Judah:  

• got a bug bite one day and Joe and I were looking at it because it was kind of big.  Joe said "Maybe it's a spider bite?"  Judah got so excited and said "Do I have webs now??"  He kept flicking his wrist all day and asking where his Spider Man webs were.  
• currently obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog.  It's always something.
• loves riding bikes, going swimming (and climbing the rock wall and doing the zip line at the pool!), playing with neighbor friends, and still loving the baths.
• LOVES baking with me.
• Probably one of my favorites stories of Judah ever:  Joe entered Modern Woodmen in a small town parade this summer.  The kids threw candy, felt like celebrities, etc.  Following the parade, there was a festival, so MWA had a booth and there were other games, food, etc.  IOne of the things near us at the festival was a dunk tank.  Judah was enthralled with this.  I told him that I was going to take Silas and Roman to the bathroom while Joe was getting the booth set up and that maybe, when I got back, I would give him a dollar so he could throw a few balls at the dunk tank.  Now the bathrooms were on top of this hill, kind of overlooking the rest of the festival.  So, I am up there waiting for the other boys and looking down at the booth.  I am realizing the Judah has gotten in line at the dunk tank and that Joe hasn't realized it yet.  He gets all the way to the front of the line, talks to the man taking money, and then takes off his shirt and walks up to the seat inside the tank.  JOE IS STILL NOT LOOKING.  (It was not deep...and then I realized there were other kids that had were wet from doing the same thing) Anyway, I am watching all this go down...and YEP, he got dunked.  He goes back over to Joe sopping wet.  Joe's expression was hilarious.  Such a classic Curious George moment. (I'm serious... the exact same thing happened in Curious George Makes Pancakes).

Roman:

• such a big kid.  He is on swim team this year and as you can imagine, he is AMPED.  He will try on all his gear for anyone who has a minute to talk.
• Made a confession to me the other night about something he wasn't proud of, and started with "Will you give me a hug after I tell you?"
• I said to him one day "you're a good boy, Roman" and he responded with "You're a good mom".  I needed to hear that, buddy.  Thanks.
• loves to wear headphones and sing obnoxiously loud.
• loves to laugh - he wants funny books and funny movies.  I love that.
• is currently signed up for the children's choir at church.  The director e-mailed me to let me know that Roman was the only boy registered.  She said she obviously still wanted him but didn't want him to be surprised on the first day.  I told him and he said "Well, they probably need a boy then".  Such a gem.

Birthday Reminder

Yesterday was my 32nd birthday.  I had some family time, some time with friends, and some cupcakes.  Life is good.

But here's the thing.  My birthday has been different for the last two years.

My college roomate and dear friend, Christina, lost her brother in a tragic car accident two years ago.  On my birthday.

Now, I only met William a couple of times.  But I heard about him almost daily.  I didn't get to know him all that well personally, but I knew that he was an amazing, faithful, and super fun guy because Christina was always telling stories about the crazy things Will would do on their farm, the cabin that he built, and the ways that he had been generous to his family.

I will continue to be joyful each year on my birthday.  When my dad passed away I realized that old age is not a burden, as some people make it out to be.  It's a gift.  God has been kind to grant me another year and I am grateful.

But I think there will always be that reminder for me on August 2nd.

I won't pretend to understand why I got to celebrate another birthday and William didn't.  Death rarely makes sense.  I hate that while I am opening gifts, my friend and her precious family are grieving.

But I know this.  Every year on my birthday, I will celebrate.  And I will think of William.  And I will take the time to feel the summer breeze on my skin.  I will ask myself if I am who I want to be.  I will remind myself that our lives are just a breath.  I will thank God for his forever plan.  I will pray for my friends.  And I will look forward to the day when death is no more,

A Rant/Confession/Not a very fun read.

How was your day?

Sometimes that's a hard question to answer.  

Joe, being the good husband that he is, will ask me this question almost every night.  And he wants the real answer, which is one of the million things that I love about him.  

But sometimes it's just hard.  

I would love to say "It was great!  The children were angels.  We did crafts and sang songs together.  They told me how much they love each other while they helped each other with their chores.  We went on an educational outing where they were all engaged and respectful."

But today?  Not awesome.  Today felt like constant whining and fighting.  Today was complaining. Today was lots of striving with very little fruit.  Today there was not peace in our home.  And that sucks.

See, I always thought I would be a really good mom.  I love kids.  I like to teach them things.  I don't mind a hard day's work.  I have a pretty high tolerance for loud and messy. 

But today I don't feel like a good mom.  

Today I feel like I must be doing something wrong and there must be a better way.

And maybe there is truth to that.  I am sure I could make a lot of improvements in my parenting.

But here's the thing.  

Parenting is a whole lot of sowing and then a little reaping and then a whole lot more sowing.  

Farmers don't sow and then reap and then reap and then reap.

There is always more sowing to be done.  Why do we think parenting is any different?  

Sometimes, in our society, we have this expectation that parents must "control" their children right NOW or they will disrupt everyone else and probably have to do some jail time eventually.

What a bunch of crap.

When you see a parent struggling with their child's behavior, you should applaud them.  They are not failing as a parent because their child is misbehaving in this moment.  That's what children do.  It's the parent's job to take this child, in this moment, and teach them how to deal with their current circumstances/emotions/other struggles you may not even be able to see.  This is a moment of sowing (or maybe pruning or watering) but it's a moment where that parent is knee deep in the dirt and doing the hard work that needs to be done.

Parenting is a constant challenge and it's even harder when there is an audience.  When a parent is actively engaged with their child, they are doing the hard work of parenting, shaping that little soul right in front of you.  So try to bypass the negative thoughts and/or comments and, instead, step out and encourage.

Parenting my specific kids looks very different than what I had pictured.  And I wouldn't trade it for anything.  But I can't say that today was great.  It was hard.  

And I think (I hope) that means I did some of it right.

Nora Girlie

Just a quick Nora post because all of her words are so stinking cute.
She says:

• "ha byes" for "high five"
• always tags someone's name onto the end "please"; it's usually "Please, Dada" or "Please, Judah" even if neither of them are around and she's asking me for something.
• has started saying "hey" before someone's name:  "hey, Mama".
• "I see you" - this is especially creepy when the person is not in the room.  For example, we woke up one day to her saying "I see you, Tony" over and over and OVER again.
• "you did it!" when she wants you to cheer for her.
• "oh boy!" and   "Oh goodness!" and  "oh man!"
• "help youp"...with the p on the end.
• "Nope."  especially if she means "yes".
• "peep it a boo" for "peek a boo" - this is my favorite favorite favorite.  
• she has started saying "I love you" with no prompting, so, you know, heart melted.
• "huggies" for hugs
• "awesome"
• if you start quizzing her on words she will put a "ha" in front of them. I think because she is proud and happy to say new words. 
• me: "Nora, can you say 'noodles'?"
• Nora:  "ha noodles"
• she is starting to tell us about what happens in different places.  So, when I take her to the childcare at the athletic club I will say "Nora, do you want to go play with the kids?"  And she will say "Kids!  Ball!"  and I'll say "You played with the ball?  That's fun."  And she'll say "Fun!" and then she'll think and say "Henry.  Cry."  Because her friend Henry cried once when he got dropped off in the childcare.
• "appa dada" for "applesauce"

More updates on the boys coming soon!

Life Lessons

Sometimes when I am talking with or correcting one of my kids, I get this feeling like "this is a holy moment".  We can be in the midst of normal conversation or in deep discussion when it happens, but I suddenly become aware that what I'm saying is a life lesson.  Don't get me wrong, moms do this constantly all day long.  Every waking minute.

There are millions of life lessons we teach.

If you make the mess, you are responsible for cleaning it up.

Just because you didn't make the mess does not mean you don't need to help.

If you see that your brother needs help, HELP him.

Put your laundry in the basket.

You can probably get your own water.

Try that again with better manners.

Think about the last time that you wore your shoes.  Look there.

You actually DO need a coat when it's 35 degrees.

You actually have to wash your body.  That's the point of a shower.

You actually don't need 7 squirts of soap to wash your body.

Look around this room and see if you can find one thing that needs to be done.

Be a gentleman and hold the door.

People don't like it when you spit on them.

That healthy snack is going to make you big and strong!

Wash your hands or you will get pink eye.  Again.

You get the idea.

:)

But the moments I'm talking about are different.  They are the holy moments where you get to tell your kids things that you wish you had figured out earlier in life.  They are lessons you are honored and humbled to teach. They are the words you are praying will stick.  

Today it was like this.

I don't know if you're familiar with reacting out of anger, but I am.  When I am angry I am tempted to become offended and, in my anger,  REACT to a situation instead of maintaining composure and acting purposefully.

So, surprise surprise, my kids often do this exact same thing.  It's amazing how parenting holds a mirror to your flaws and laughs at you.

Anyway, today Roman found some rope in the garage and was showing me some jump rope skills they were working on in PE.  (crossover?  Nailed it.)  He was having so much fun.  After his exhibition, he asked me if he could buy a jump rope with the money he had been saving in his wallet.

Now, Joe and I had recently sat down with him discussed impulse spending (of which he is the king) and asked him to make a goal to save a larger sum of money to buy something he really wanted.  So we agreed upon an item and a dollar amount.  

So, back to jumping rope...I was about to tell Roman that I wanted him to keep saving his money but that I would be happy to buy him a jump rope because I think that would be a fun thing for whole family to have for the summer and it would be great exercise.

But I only got to "Remember, we have already talked about saving your money..." when there was an outburst of "It's not fair!  I have the money!  You're the worst!", etc, etc.

So, he was sent to his room to calm down and when he came out I told him "I was about to tell you something that I think you will like to hear, but instead of waiting to hear what I had to say, you got angry and you missed it."

I asked if he was ready to be calm and listen, and then I told him what I would have told him originally.

And then I got to share the real nitty gritty with him:

 "You know, this reminds me a lot of how we are with God sometimes.  Sometimes, we ask God for something and he doesn't give us the answer that we were hoping for.  But God always has a plan.  He is a good Father.  If we respond out of anger when we don't get what we ask for, if we stop listening because we feel like 'it's not fair', we might miss the blessing he was trying to give us. That blessing is sometimes even better than what we were hoping for!"

Even though I taught a lot of crazy, patience-trying life lessons today, I am so thankful I got to teach that one.  Please, Lord, let their little hearts understand and remember.

The Greatness of God

I have come to a realization that has brought me great peace.

Most of the time, I have these "ah-ha!" moments and then I go to type it up in a blog post and I realize, it's probably not a new realization to other people.  Most people are smarter than me.

But, for my own sake...for my wandering heart that makes me forget simple truths...I'm writing this post.  I'll probably need the reminder next week.

I often get overwhelmed/stressed/discouraged at what I am not doing.  The things I know I should be doing but I can never seem to make the time for.  The things that I can't do when I have small children to care for. The things that I am able to do, but always have an excuse for.  The things I'm too tired to do. The things I wish I was good at but I'm not.  The things that I love to do, but never seem to fit in my list of priorities for the day. 

Women carry a great deal of burdens most of the time.  I don't know why we do it to ourselves, why we think we can or should be able to do it all.  How ridiculous.  We don't expect other women to be able to do it all.  Why do we do that?

And so it is.  I do that to myself.  I hope you don't, but I believe many women do. 

But sometimes God is not asking us to do one more thing.  Sometimes God is not even asking us to do something big.

When I start feeling like my "mundane" daily tasks are inadequate, I need to remember that God often asks us to do small things right where we are.  Sometimes those small things lead to great miracles... but look at the actions themselves:  they are not impossible; they are, very often, not even extraordinary.

God is the one doing all the great things, we just have to be a willing vessel.

Take a look:

David just picked up a stone.  It was the mighty hand of God that brought Goliath down.

The Israelites just walked.  The Lord is the one that crumbled Jericho's walls.

Moses just placed his staff in the water.  It was Jehovah-Jireh that made a dry path through the raging sea.

Peter just stepped out of the boat.  It was God that sustained him on the water.

Noah was asked to construct an ark.  Now, this is not a small job, but he wasn't doing anything remarkable by piecing together one board at a time.

Daniel is known for his bravery; but when you look at his actions?  He didn't do anything different that what he had been doing.  He just stayed faithful to the Lord in prayer.

Countless people brought their friends to the Messiah for healing.  They just showed up.  It was the Great Physician that did the work.

Paul and Silas just worshiped...it was the God of the universe that shook the earth and broke their chains.

We can (and should!) have great goals.  I do!  The Lord may call us to big things.  But even when he is calling us to small tasks, we can trust that He will bless the work that He has given us for today.

A Classic.

This is a story I don't want to forget.

So, the whole school deal has been new to Roman this year.  Lots to learn; lots he has not been familiar with.

We had school picture day before school started and we were just thrilled about how his school picture turned out.  I mean look at this face:

(I'm not sure why this image looks blurry on the computer screen.  It is crystal clear on my phone).


Anyway, super handsome boy.  Great shot.  Just so happy.

Then, Roman came home from school a few weeks into the year and told me that he had gotten his picture taken again at school.

"A class picture?", I asked.

"No, just of me.  They said we could go get our pictures taken again today."

"Oh, okay", I said.  "I didn't really need you to do that, but it's okay that you did.  Your first picture just looked so nice, remember?  The retakes are really for people who thought they might want a better or different picture.  Do you know what I mean?  But you didn't know that.  It's fine that you got one taken we just probably won't order again because we ordered the first one".

And then a few weeks late we got the retakes back:

I mean...

Who gave him the kool-aid and fun dip prior to the photo shoot?

And now this is the picture that is on everything.  The class picture that his friends will keep for all eternity.  The yearbook.

It's a gem.  And it makes me laugh every time.

February Update

Since I just published an update from August, I felt the need to create a current update.

In January, Joe and I went to Canada for our annual Modern Woodmen trip.  I just cannot tell you how beautiful Whistler is.  I mean:  this is where we stayed.  I have been to Colorado and seen the beautiful Rocky Mountains.  But my trips to Colorado were in the spring/summer/fall.  I had never been up in the mountains during the winter.  It's simply stunning.  We went tubing and had amazing dinners, got a massage, and my favorite:  we went dog sledding.  So fun.

When we came home, poor Si guy was sick.  That two weeks ago and we have sick people the entire 14 days.  It's a good thing we were all rested up and refreshed because oh, the cabin fever.  The icing on the cake was when the children gave their pink eye to Joe.  And THEN he had an allergic reaction to the drops the doctor gave us.  Poor guy.

I feel kind of like I'm in a TV sitcom and I can hear people laughing at my life...except for the part where I am not acting.

ANYWAY, other than being sick and cooped up and losing it, here's what we have been up to:

Roman:

• loves school  (there were some pretty funny things that happened as he was making the transition, but he is doing very well)  
• is head over heels for Nora.  When I pick him up from school, I will often say "I missed you today!"  One day he said, "I missed you too.  But I missed Nora the most because of her cuteness."  Or sometimes he will remind me "Nora is my favorite person ever."  Having an "older" child and a baby is such a gift.  
• is getting to be such a little gentleman.  He offered to dry my dishes yesterday - without being asked.  all the love.

Judah:

• has been going to OT for several months now and is ROCKING it.  I am so so proud of him.  He is interacting a lot more and talking a lot more.  We are figuring out more and better ways to meet his sensory needs and he just seems more comfortable in his own skin.  
• His favorite sensory activity is water play (sometimes a bath, sometimes in the sink - always with his "guys" - Legos or action figures).  He has such a good imagination and is always coming up with elaborate scenes and rescues.  
• Also loves Nora - in fact he told me that he wants to marry her because "She's my good girl".
• is doing a great job learning to read!
• Is starting to enjoy going to church.  I am so thankful for this!  We got to all-school Mass sometimes on Wednesday mornings and wave at Roman.  Most of the time he complains if we go but a couple of weeks ago (of course when I wasn't planning on going - and was still wearing pajamas -and Joe was gone - and had only 15 minutes to get everyone ready) he requested to go.  I said "Oh, Judah!  I'm so glad you want to go see Jesus!  I just wish you would have told me sooner because I don't know if we have enough time to get ready."  Two minutes later he came out wearing a tie.  I couldn't resist after that.  So adorable.
• It was not long ago that we were at Mass and Judah loudly proclaimed "When I grow up, I'm not going to church.  I'm only getting donuts."

Silas:

• is so inquisitive.  He is asking a lot of questions about how babies actually get into a mama's tummy and how they actually get out.  For example:  "Does God rip open your tummy to put a baby in there?  Does the doctor rip open your tummy to get the baby out?"  So, we are having lots of clarifying conversations these days while not trying to overshare because he is four.  Roman has barely asked these questions.  But Silas is our thinker.  And he is a smarty pants.
• He is going to be sooo ready to read and soooo easy to homeschool.  I am excited because he is more naturally excited about learning than the older two!
• He is still super sweet and super cuddly.  He always walks on his tip toes and always asks one million questions in the cutest voice ever.  For example, "Mom can I have some milk?  Can I have a blue cup?  Are you giving me the blue cup because it's my favorite?  Do you like blue?  Did you like to drink milk when you were a kid?  Do you still like to drink milk?"
• He is also king of sound effects.  I'll leave it at that.
• He has a pretty laid back temperament so he is pretty easy to discipline most of the time (which is a huge blessing!)  But he does cry about EVERYTHING these days.  And it's very dramatic.
• there may have been an incident in which a friend's fish did not survive.  I'm not quite ready to write about it.  But ask me about it later.  I hope I'll be able to laugh in a couple (more) months.

Nora:

• talking up a storm.  My favorites:  "happy", "oh no", "hey baby", "coat on", "bad guy"
• animal noises are coming right along.  The way she "meows" is the sweetest thing you've ever heard.  Which is nice because for a while there it was a very loud and terrifying cat sound.
• is into everything.  All the fun stuff:  dog food, toilet, mama's make-up.
• loves her brothers.  
• loves her Charlie.
• Daddy is still her favorite person.
• Tony might be a close second.  Sometimes when she's playing by herself she will just start saying "come on, Tony".
• she's a good little dancer
• she marches occasionally for no reason

That's all I can think of for now...I know these posts can get long and are probably not as interesting to other people, I just love to look back at the old ones and read things I had forgotten about!

Life As the Pomettos Know It

**I found this post in my drafts that never got published.  When I read it I had to publish because so.funny.

I think it's high time for an update.

We are having a busy, crazy, awesome, summer.  We have been traveling a ton, seeing lots of friends, enjoying the beauty that is Wisconsin in the summer.

We started the summer with Judah breaking a bone in his wrist (he fell off the monkey bars over Memorial Day weekend).  He, as usual, was a tough guy about it so we didn't even take him in for a couple of days.  Just take a moment to bask in my magnificent mothering. (There was no swelling!  No bruising!  He was using it normally!)  But finally after he hit his wrist on something and was in serious pain again I decided to have it X-rayed...you know, just to rule out a break.  He got a sweet Spiderman cast - that he could wear in the water (thank you, Jesus!) - and we carried on with summer fun.

We took a fantastic vacation to the Outer Banks with Joe's family.  Super fun.  We have been to Iowa twice to visit family and to celebrate the baptism of our adorable god daughter, Kate Caroline.

We spent a weekend at Notre Dame celebrating Angie - she now has a Masters of Arts in Theology.  Kind of a big deal.

And now here we are.  It's almost August.  We have been having so much fun but I just want summer to stay and slow for a while.

Big news in the Pometto fam is that Roman will be attending school this fall.  Our parish has a school and he's just ready.  I will miss having him at home all day but I am excited for him. And I am excited to have a little more one-on-one time with Judah as he starts Kindergarten at home with me.  Of course Silas and Nora will be there too  :)

Other than that, here's what each kiddo has been up to:

Roman:

• still super into music.  We have been to a couple of concerts this summer - basically heaven for him.

Judah:

• when he got his cast on he was just kind of grumpy for a couple of days.  I get it.  It was on his right hand.  Had to be pretty annoying.  He's already kind of overstimulated by too much touching and this was touching him all the time.  He was getting into the van one day and he was just being kind of growly and had this scowl on his face.  I said "Judah, why don't you use your words to tell me why you're frustrated."  Through clinched teeth he says "I want to buckle my seat belt by myself."
• Judah has started using his words more often when he's frustrated which is great progress!  We are proud of him!  But, I'm going to be honest, it doesn't always feel like progress.  When he is frustrated he really takes it out on the family via his words.  For example:

Me:  "Judah, it's time for lunch"

Judah:  "Why are you so mean to me all the time?"

Me:  "Judah, it's time to come inside"

Judah:  "You are so very mean"

Me:  "Judah, please put your shoes on so we can go"

Judah:  "Stop talking to me"

So....yeah.  But words are better than not words!  They are better than aggression and pent up frustration.  Hopefully we can start refining the words ASAP.  :)

• He is so aggressive and yet fiercely loyal.  This kid fights with Silas/wrestles him to the ground all day long.  Then he tells me that some other kids were being mean to Silas at an event we were at.  There happened to be childcare provided, so I wasn't in the room at the time.  I asked Judah if he had told one of the "teachers" that someone was being mean to Silas.  His response:  "No, I don't need to tell a teacher.  I need to smash them."
• This same child will be so sweet and give the best compliments when he's happy.  When we get ice cream or go swimming he almost always announces "This is a great day!"  My personal favorite though, is when he tells me "You're my best mother".  
• One of Judah's favorite games to "go to work".  He will put on a button down shirt and a tie if he can find one, grab a bag that looks like a laptop case, and go to his "office", which is usually located in the playhouse outside or downstairs.  He really enjoys getting a hug goodbye and then coming in the door to a warm "Judah!  I'm so glad to see you!  How was your day?"  Adorable.  One day I was asking him more about what he did at his office and he was having trouble telling me exactly what he does there.  I said "What does dad do at his office?"  Judah said "he watches movies and colors".  

Silas:

• is still our pokey little puppy.  He is a dawdler which can be pretty frustrating but it's always a good reminder that we don't really need to hurry most of the time.  He notices all the little things we miss.
• He and I were looking at a picture of Saint George, the Dragon Slayer, the other day.  I was trying to get him to make some observations so I asked "What do you notice about this picture?"  He said "I notice the pretty dragon".
• We were all sitting at the dinner table one night when Silas stood up and looked like he was in pain.  "What?", I asked "What's wrong, baby?"  He replied "My feet are sparkly!"  So funny because I knew exactly what he meant.  That's probably the best description I've heard of that horrible feeling when your foot falls asleep!
• See!  He's so sweet, isn't he?!  He's always walking on his toes and laughing and he's the most excitable child.  But there is a dark side.
• I don't even know how to tell you this story.  We were playing at a friend's house one night and the next morning as I was helping Silas get dressed he said "I'm wearing Peter's underwear."

Uh....

This is how the rest of the conversation went

Me:  Why?  Why are you wearing Peter's underwear??

S:  I don't know.

Me:  NO, tell me why you're wearing Peter's underwear.
S:  Well, I pooped in mine.
Me:  .... (deep breathing)
S:  So Peter game me some of his

Me:  Silas, where are YOUR underwear?
S:  I don't know.

For.the.love.  This will be on the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries because the underwear in quesiton were never found.  Ever.  Jess and I have discussed all the options (did he flush them?  throw them?  Will we find them when they move out of that house?)  We laughed and lamented over this many times.  That's a real friend.

Rain

A couple of months ago my sweet, rowdy, yet contemplative six year old was sitting by the window watching the rain.

He, of course, wanted to play outside.  He always wants to play outside.  Rain, snow, sweltering heat, no matter.  And I usually have no objections, but this was a thunder storm so I had to refuse.

Joe always jokes that, if anything ever happened to us, Judah would keep the other kids alive with his foraging skills.  He is rough around the edges sometimes, but he is fiercely loyal.  He's outdoorsy and creative and he's a make-it-happen kind of guy, like his daddy.

He sat there frowning, obviously not enjoying my "no" and staring outside.

"Mom, what are we going to do to stop the rain?"

Oh, my sweet Judah.

This is a hard lesson to learn.  It's one that many adults still haven't quite mastered.

"Well, baby, we can't stop the rain", I said.  "That's not how it works.  It's hard when we don't have control over things, isn't it?  But we don't decide when it rains or when it stops raining.  Only God can do that".

He didn't really seem satisfied with that nugget of wisdom.  ;)

But, again, most adults aren't really happy about not being able to control things, either.

I am one of them.

But what I wanted to tell him, what most adults probably really need to hear, what I hope he will understand one day, is that most of the time,

The rain is not about you.

Most of the time, God is doing something bigger, for a greater purpose that we can't see.  The rain is for someone or something, no doubt.  God doesn't act without purpose.

And, sure, sometimes, it's for you or about you.

But most of the storms...most of the struggle, most of the inconvenience, most of the things that offend us, most of the things that makes us grumpy have very little to do with us.

I wonder how we would respond differently if we could remove ourselves from the equation.  What if we walked away from the window and did something productive?  What if we thanked God for the rain and enjoyed the beauty in it, even if it's not what we had in mind?

He speaks.

As a follow up to my post about fear, I am posting this.

A commitment to write more in 2016.  

Sometimes fear prevents me from writing or from clicking "publish" because I want it to be perfect every time.

And so, it might not always be on this blog, but I am going to write more this year.  I have had this nudging in my spirit for quite some time.

I have been a lover of words for all of my life.  I am moved by so many authors and stories and quotes and I have sensed that God is urging me to use the written word (maybe spoken word?) to serve Him.

It's one of those yeses that I don't really understand.  There are so many others who are more qualified and who have amazingly beautiful words.  

But here we are.

I have asked Him how I will do this and I don't have a clear itinerary.  I have asked Him "why?"

...and His simple answer was "Because I have something to say".

Use my words, Lord.  Be near.

Fear

Fear can always find me.

Ever since my dad died, twenty-two years ago, fear has lived in my closet.

Fear doesn't surprise me most of the time.  Most of the time it's like my shadow...walking along beside me.  Relentless.

It's there for all my daily tasks, nagging at me.

In the parenting - telling me that I'm failing.

In my marriage - trying to convince me I'm not enough.

In my friendships - reminding me that vulnerability is dangerous.

In my car - showing me dark, detailed scenarios.

In my attempts to minister to people - laughing at my weak faith.

Even in prayer - whispering lies and doubts.

And then sometimes it sneaks up on me.  I walk around the corner and it jumps out in front of me with a new threat that I'm not prepared for.

I'm guessing fear might have taken up residence in some of your homes, also?

I confess it often and I got the best encouragement from the Lord through the last priest I spoke with.

He told me to look to Our Lady when the fear begins lurking.

God gave her a seemingly impossible task:  Be the Mother of the Messiah.

It was a task that would bring her great joy and also grave sorrow.

Was fear sitting beside her as Gabriel spoke?  As she knocked on Elizabeth's door?  As she and Joseph made plans to travel to Bethlehem?

Was fear tapping on her shoulder as she rode on the back of the donkey?  Waiting for her in the corners of the stable?

Surely it was pulling at her veil when she ran into the temple, wondering if He was lost.

It had to be sitting with her at the foot of the cross.

I have no doubt that fear was always grasping for her attention, reaching for her hand, trying to get her to look into it's ugly eyes.

But she didn't look to fear, she looked to Him.

And she said yes.

Fear was probably beside her, but instead of listening to that liar she listened to the One who is able to do all things, to the One who would give her all she needed, and said "be it done to me".  Whatever it is.

Whatever crazy thing you ask, Lord:  Yes.

Whatever you want me to do.  Wherever you want me to go.  Whomever you want me to love.  Whatever you ask me to sacrifice.

No matter what trial lies ahead, You will be there and You will be enough.

The answer is just Yes.  Be it done.

We don't have time for fear.  Our life is but a breath (Ps 144:4) and You are the oxygen.  Give us eyes to see that You are everything.