It's hard for me to describe my thoughts and feelings on life right now. But, I tend to be a wordy person so, obviously, I'm going to try.
My heart if full. There are so many reasons to be joyful and hopeful during this crazy time.
I have a husband who works very hard and loves his family deeply. He is so much fun, he spoils us, but he also takes life seriously. I think I mentioned that we have a goal to read through the Bible together this year. Well, truthfully, it's looking like it will be more like a year and a half at the rate we're going. But, what a blessing! I feel like we've grown together spiritually more than we ever have before.
I have three beautiful boys who are smart, hilarious, healthy, and adorable. They make me laugh; they drive me crazy; their sweet, profound comments often move me to tears. I feel so honored that I get to share the love of God with them everyday. I grieve at the ways I fail them at this task. And yet, I am so thankful that God has chosen us for each other in this crazy life.
I have amazing family and friends. I have been trying to avoid thinking about how much I'm going to miss them when we move. But it's catching up with me. So, watch out for me in the next couple of months. I'll be the girl who suddenly bursts into tears in the middle of the mall when I hear the song "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. So awkward...mostly because it is quite possibly the cheesiest song ever written.
Even though we are leaving so many amazing things and people here, I feel like we're getting a fresh start. Not that we want to change anything in our life too drastically, but we get to set a new routine for ourselves. We get to meet new people and try new things and re-prioritize if we want to.
We are so so blessed to be moving to a beautiful city with a great community (and we even know some people there now!) God clearly has his hand on this situation even though we still have some loose ends to tie up.
He is so faithful. There are lots of questions in our future. We still need to sell our house. Which means we could be paying two mortgages for a while. The inspection on our (probably) new house came back with some fairly major issues that need to be resolved before we can proceed with the purchase. It has been a stressful few days. With all of that being said, we have peace because we know that He is in the details. And we believe that he has our best in mind. It might not be the easiest road, but it will be the best.
So, life is a bit of a rollercoaster, basically. We are sad to leave but excited to go. Bittersweet doesn't even cut it. When I walk into our church I want to cry because I can't imagine not being a part of that community. I get irritated when someone doesn't want to buy our house because don't they know how much I love it and I am going to miss it? It's an awesome house...why aren't they jumping on the opportunity? And at the same time, a part of me is a little relieved because I'm not sure how I'll be able to handle the emotion of acutally handing over the key to someone new.
But when we're in Wisconsin...we know. We know it's the right place. Amazing people show up and we hear about great opportunities at a new church and our kids are excited about all the things we'll do there.
Bittersweet doesn't cut it. But grateful does. We are so grateful for the life we have here. And we are so grateful for the life we'll have there. We are grateful for the people that we love and that love us...in both states (and many others, for that matter!) We are most grateful for a God who holds it all (us all) in his hands.
PS - To teach the boys about giving something up in order to make more space in our hearts for God, we are praying for someone/something specific each day of Lent when we normally have our treats. We would be honored to pray for you. Let me know if you have a special intention.