Fear can always find me.
Ever since my dad died, twenty-two years ago, fear has lived in my closet.
Fear doesn't surprise me most of the time.  Most of the time it's like my shadow...walking along beside me.  Relentless.
It's there for all my daily tasks, nagging at me.
In the parenting - telling me that I'm failing.
In my marriage - trying to convince me I'm not enough.
In my friendships - reminding me that vulnerability is dangerous.
In my car - showing me dark, detailed scenarios.
In my attempts to minister to people - laughing at my weak faith.
Even in prayer - whispering lies and doubts.
And then sometimes it sneaks up on me.  I walk around the corner and it jumps out in front of me with a new threat that I'm not prepared for.
I'm guessing fear might have taken up residence in some of your homes, also?
I confess it often and I got the best encouragement from the Lord through the last priest I spoke with.
He told me to look to Our Lady when the fear begins lurking.
God gave her a seemingly impossible task:  Be the Mother of the Messiah.
It was a task that would bring her great joy and also grave sorrow.
Was fear sitting beside her as Gabriel spoke?  As she knocked on Elizabeth's door?  As she and Joseph made plans to travel to Bethlehem?
Was fear tapping on her shoulder as she rode on the back of the donkey?  Waiting for her in the corners of the stable?
Surely it was pulling at her veil when she ran into the temple, wondering if He was lost.
It had to be sitting with her at the foot of the cross.
I have no doubt that fear was always grasping for her attention, reaching for her hand, trying to get her to look into it's ugly eyes.
But she didn't look to fear, she looked to Him.
And she said yes.
Fear was probably beside her, but instead of listening to that liar she listened to the One who is able to do all things, to the One who would give her all she needed, and said "be it done to me".  Whatever it is.
Whatever crazy thing you ask, Lord:  Yes.
Whatever you want me to do.  Wherever you want me to go.  Whomever you want me to love.  Whatever you ask me to sacrifice.
No matter what trial lies ahead, You will be there and You will be enough.
The answer is just Yes.  Be it done.
We don't have time for fear.  Our life is but a breath (Ps 144:4) and You are the oxygen.  Give us eyes to see that You are everything.

1 comment: