The Name

So, as I said, I need to fill you in on how Silas got his name!

I first suggested the name Silas months ago. And, as you will recall, Joe was not a fan. Not a fan at all. So, we dropped the name and didn't talk about it much after that.

Well, didn't talk about it much seriously. Occasionally I would bring it up again just to see his reaction. That's when Joe told me that if I named our son Silas he would call him Kevin. :) If you happen to be in women's Bible study with me, you'll recall that (when he joined us for dinner one night) Joe made some other extreme comments about how much he disliked the name Silas. I'll leave it at that.

In my mind, it was totally off the table. I stopped thinking of it as an option at all.

But then, one night, we were telling the "Silas/Kevin" story to some friends and Joe asked them to vote between the names Josiah and Silas. They both chose Silas without a second thought.

Joe got all flustered about that and then started asking people to vote between Elijah and Silas and Silas kept winning out...much more often than he had anticipated.

Fast forward a couple of weeks (we still hadn't been talking about Silas as a name option at this point). Joe comes home from some late appointments and the boys are in bed. Pretty much the first thing he said when he came in the door was "I have a surprise for you".

...and the rest of the conversation went like this:

Me: "....ok..."
Joe: "I've been thinking about it a lot"
Me. "....ok...you're kind of freaking me out...just tell me"
Joe: "I think his name is Silas"
Me: "no you don't! You hate that name!"
Joe: "No, I'm serious. I think that's his name."
Me: "What?? When did that happen?"
Joe: "I don't know. I just keep thinking about it and the more I say it and the more I hear other people say it the more I think that's his name. So we can make it official now."
Me: "Uh, no!"
Joe: "What? Why?"
Me: "Because now I've been trying to convince myself that Silas is not an option. And how do I know you're not going to change your mind again in 3 days??"
Joe: "Okay, we can think about it for a few more days"

A few days later we were all calling him Silas. Roman too.

And Judah saying "Si-yes" is pretty much the cutest thing you've ever heard in your life.

And, in case you aren't familiar...here is the story of the Silas.

To me the name Silas brings images of a man of strength, a man courageous enough to speak the truth regardless of the circumstances or of the consequences. It seems to fit this baby given our situation during this pregnancy.

And I pray that he, my third son, will be that sort of man. A man who walks with the Lord and who boldly brings others to know Him.

We have chosen David as his middle name. My dad's name. The name of a king, who, though sinful, was called a man after God's own heart.

We are so excited to meet you, Silas. We have already been on quite the journey together and we can't wait to share more of life with you!

Silas David

Yes! That is his name!! I am so excited to finally be able to call him by his name! (In case you are wondering what changed since this post....I'll write more on Joe's change of heart soon! :))

***

All I could think this morning, from the moment I woke up was

"only say the word and I shall be healed".

We have been praying so much for our precious baby boy. We have had so many more praying on our behalf and we are so thankful. As I got myself ready to go to our ultrasound this morning, I just kept thinking "God, you can. Only you can. All you have to do is choose to heal this pregnancy, it will happen."

Please, Father.

***

Don't ever let anyone tell you that God doesn't perform miracles. Two months ago, this was a "hopeless" cause. We were told that the placenta was not likely to move. We were told to prepare for bed rest and a C-section. They said we should work on finding people who would be able to help us. Be sure to watch for any spotting, come in right away if there are any contractions. Be careful. Nothing strenuous. If you begin labor on your own, this could quickly become a very dangerous situation.

We said "We'll be praying". The doctor and the ultrasound tech both said "I think that's nice".

Nice? Well, I suppose.

Powerful? Yes. Most certainly.

Our God is a warrior.

***

I also want to say that I know there are some mamas out there who have prayed for their babies and their prayer was not answered the way that they had hoped. There are some people who have begged and pleaded on behalf of some more dangerous, more pressing matter, and have walked away disappointed.

I don't have answers for all of that.

But, here's what I do know. We serve a God who is good all the time. Even when we don't understand what's happening around us or to us, He is good. Even though we live in a fallen world where death and destruction and disillusionment are daily occurances, He is good.

***

I came across this verse in Deuteronomy just a couple of weeks after we found out about this complication in our pregnancy. And it was one of those times when I knew that God was speaking. Not like I could hear an audible voice, but I knew. In my heart I knew this verse was meant for my eyes and my soul at that particular time.

And I knew that either way, no matter how God chose to move or chose not to move, that this verse, this truth, would be the only thing we needed. We only needed Him.

Deuteronomy 4:35

All this you were allowed to see that you might know the LORD is God

and that there is no other.

Now, obviously, Deuteronomy wasn't talking about Ruth Ann's placenta previa. This verse is referring to the way that God revealed himself to the Israelites as he freed them from Egyptian captivity...by testings, signs, and wonders, by war, with his strong hand and outstretched arm, and by great terrors. (v.34)

But, as soon as we heard, "Yes, you see this? The placenta is no longer covering any part of the cervix. This means that you can consider this a normal pregnancy from here on out". Oh, the relief. And immediately, I thought, "yes, the Lord is God, and there is no other".

God has heard us.

He has saved us.

He is a compassionate father with fierce loyalty.

He has intervened on our behalf.

Praise Immanuel! God is with us!!

A little Bit of Everything

So, even after all of my unloading in this post, I still hadn't realized how heavy my heart has been for the past month until we got the good news at our ultrasound last week. It's literally like a weight has been lifted. Yay for Jesus being awesome.



Now I need to catch you up on some good Roman and Judah stories!



A couple of weeks ago, Roman and I went to visit my friend Lindsay. She was kind enough to make us all kinds of fun treats to eat when we were there. One thing she had to offer was candy corn. Roman was lovin that. He kept sneaking more after I told him to stop...until I caught on and finally he gave it a rest. But, it was enough that he was all hyped up on sugar as we were leaving.

As soon as we started walking out to the car, it got really bad. He was rolling around in the leaves and would not follow me to the car. I didn't mind him playing in the leaves for a couple of minutes, but then he was seriously getting out of control. Usually if I ask him "Roman, are you going to come like a big boy, or does Mommy need to help you?" he comes right away. He's all about doing things by himself. So, when that didn't work, I just went and grabbed his hand and he came to the car. He was still squirming and squealing though...all in excitement. He could hardly even sit down in his car seat. Finally I kind of raised my voice and he snapped out of it. He looked at me very seriously and said "I had too much candy corn". HA-larious.

Then as we were driving away, I said "Roman, I had such a fun day with you!"
To which he replied "CANDY!!!!"
Love you too.

10 minutes later he was completely passed out.

Moral of the story: if you want your kid to completely OD and crash on sugar, just give them candy corn. But, remember that first you'll have to deal with the beloved sugar high. :)

My other favorite things about Roman right now are that he loves "Jamma days" because I let them stay in their pajamas occasionally...but now it's become a daily request. And that he loves letters. He is starting to write some words like "cat" and "hat".

And our sweet Judah...
He is talking all the time now...sometimes whole sentences of only-God-knows-what, but it's pretty stinking cute. We are slowly learning to understand more of his words though, and he is getting clearer and clearer. Here's what Judah has been saying:

• "Puppies Everywhere" - when he wants to read Puppies, Puppies Everywhere
• "go sleep"
• "bless you"
• "I ate it all" - which comes out more like "i a it ahh"
• "oh my goodness"
• "See me?" - in a really high pitched voice when he wants to come see you.
• "where did he go?" - while playing peek-a-boo...this one is pretty hard to understand, though
• "set...go!"
• "that's nice"
• "Buzz" - as in Lightyear. Duh.
• "bapple" for "apple" :)
• "oh no"
• "ah, man!"
• "boy", "sky", "house", and lots of other daily vocab type words...these are just his favorites. he must like the way they sound because he repeats them a lot.
• "Cookies? Cake?" at the end of almost every meal...just in case I might have a treat for him
• "get down" and "sit down" - probably because that's what he hears every 5 minutes. He's a good climber!
• "yep"
• He is also starting to count and can say some ABCs...still pretty random orders though. :) And he can say colors, but doesn't identify any yet.

These boys are SO much fun! It makes me so excited to see what the dynamic will be like with three of them running around!

It has been really hard for me to adjust to not lifting the boys. Mostly Judah. I know that I am being a good mom to our third little guy when I am taking it easy, but it makes me feel like a not-so-good mom to Roman and Judah. I know it's just because they don't understand, and that it is a short period of time.

Praise the Lord I have had so much help over the last several weeks! First of all, I can't say enough about my husband. He is such a good dad and has taken on so much more around the house since I am trying to do less. He puts up with all my crazy pregnancy hormones, and is so good at calming my fears. In our couples' group last week, I got all emotional when they talked about the man being the Christ figure. He has been exactly that during this whole experience. I love you, Joe.

On top of that, I have my friends and our amazing church family. I am so blessed to have several "Titus 2 women" in my life. You know who you are...and I am so so thankful for you. Thanks for teaching me what it means to be a Godly woman.

And, let's not forget my incredible brother, Tony. He has been such a blessing to our family. He deserves some kind of award for all the dishes, and diapers, and other dirty jobs he has done.

So...that was all over the place...but at least it was an update! I have been so horrible about writing lately. Please know I'm praying for all of you and your families!

Ultrasound

Hello friends!

Well, we had another ultrasound yesterday, and I am excited to tell you that we got some good news!

Really this ultrasound was not so much to look at the placenta...it was to look at the baby's spine. The last time we went in, he was feeling a bit stubborn (imagine that...my child...stubborn?) and wouldn't roll over. So, the ultrasound tech couldn't see his whole spine. She said everything else looked fine and she had no reason to think it wouldn't be normal, but we had to come back anyway. I always like to see the baby, so it was fine with me!

They usually wouldn't check on the placenta until 28 weeks - which is another month from now. So, when we went in, she reminded us that we wouldn't necessarily know anything different yet. But right away when she looked she said, "Oh, well that's moved some. I'm going to call it a partial previa". This is very encouraging news, because if the uterus continues to grow the way it has been, it's quite possible that when they check again at our next ultrasound, it will be completely out of the way!

So, basically, thank you, THANK YOU for your prayers! Keep them coming because they are WORKING!

We are not completely "out of the woods" yet, of course. I still need to maintain the same precautions that I have been taking to be sure that we don't put any undue pressure on the placenta. But we are hopeful that this movement, and the continued movement of the placenta might give us the chance to have another natural birth!

And, even if the placenta doesn't move any more, even if we still have to have a C-section, a partial previa is much less of a risk to the baby's safety.

But, as we have seen, God is bigger than this situation and we are so thankful for the way he has been faithful to hear and answer our prayers!

Thanks again for joining us on this journey! Love you you all...

Jeremiah 29:12

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

To post or not to post...

So...here's the deal: I have gone back and forth about a hundred times as to whether or not I should post this on my blog. I have been reading it and editing it, and saving it and coming back to it...I guess we'll see what I really think when I get to the end of writing and have to decide whether or not to click "publish post". :)

All of this is probably going to come out in one big jumbled mess. So, take it or leave it. If you feel like it's TMI, feel free to sit this one out. I promise I won't be offended. I am (I think!) going to post this and any subsequent posts in order to keep people in the loop about our third pregnancy. And, more than that, we would love to ask for your prayers.

As most of you know, our ultrasound showed that we have another healthy baby boy on the way! Praise God!

It also showed that I have a Placenta Previa.

I would link to something that tells you more about what that means, except that I don't like reading about medical issues online. Too scary. :)

Here's the gist of the situation: As of right now, the placenta is completely covering the cervix, so unless my uterus grows in such a way that the placenta moves, baby can't get out that way. The doctors say that it's not likely the placenta will move at this point in the pregnancy.


We say God can do anything.


So, we are hopeful (not hoping) - I am learning there is a difference. We are hopeful because God is good all the time. We are hopeful that God will move the placenta and that we will be able to have a natural delivery.

If God chooses not to change our circumstances, (and in that case, we will not be hopeless, because God is unchanging...remember, He's good all the time?) that will mean that baby will be delivered via C-section. It also means that I may have to be on bed rest towards the end of the pregnancy. Regardless of what God does or allows, we trust that it is all in His plan.

In the mean time, I am supposed to be taking it easy. I am not allowed to lift my children, or do anything strenuous. I am still trying to figure out what that means considering I live with Roman and Judah. :)

I would be lying if I said I'm not scared. I would love to say that I am totally at peace and willing to go wherever God will lead us...but fear is, for me, the biggest way that Satan tries to get me to doubt God. Just the thought or mention of a possible complication makes me my mind reel in images, scenarios, and worst-case thoughts. Throw in words like "placental abruption", "hemorrhage", or "dangerous for mom and baby" and...well...I have to stop and remind myself to breathe normally again.

How likely are any of those complications? I don't know. And I'm not really interested in finding out. Because, honestly, it doesn't matter. God will have his way in this no matter what the statistics show. And that's what we want anyway.

This has been a difficult thing for me to write about and talk with people about - not because I don't feel comfortable sharing, but because I'm afraid that people will think I'm being over dramatic or that I will come off as either naive or not trusting God enough. The reality is, in a few weeks, I might be saying "scratch that...none of this is even an issue anymore!" I would love to honor God by showing that he is faithful to us in that way. But if he chooses to be faithful to us in another way, in a way that people don't necessarily understand to be "answered prayer", I want to honor Him then, too.

Does any of this even make any sense? In one sentence I say how much I trust God, and in the next, I say how scared I am? Is that even possible? Am a total hypocrite? Is it both or neither?

I just know that I honestly feel both.

So there ya have it.

We have another ultrasound and doctor's appointment on Monday, and again 4 weeks after that, so I'll update again as I know more. We are anxious to see how God will move in our lives and in the life of this sweet little guy. Please pray that He will be glorified in our family, no matter the situation.

"pray for me...that I won't spoil God's beautiful work." - Mother Theresa

Big News

think February 2011...