Let me tell you what's awkward.
It's awkward when people say rude things about the size of your family. This is an awkward conversation whether they are commenting on how big your family is OR how small your family is. I get a lot of the big family comments but I have friends with two children who get just as many of the opposite kind. People, just stop it.
I have three boys and a baby on the way. I am aware that four children is "a lot" to some people. And you know what? That's ok. I do not think that God is calling every family to have lots of children. I think family size should be something to discern with your spouse and with the Author of Life himself.
I have always wanted to have a big family. As long as I can remember. I have one brother (who is the greatest gift my parents ever gave me) and I always wanted more siblings. BUT, that was up to my parents to prayerfully discern.
As soon as I was old enough to babysit, I started telling people that I wanted to have 20 kids when I grew up. At this point I'm thinking maybe not 20, but I will tell you that, to me, (most days!) four kids doesn't seem like a lot.
When people ask me, out of genuine curiosity, "Do you think you'll have more?" I feel like that is a legitimate question and I am not at all offended. I usually say something like "we like to discern that one baby at a time" or "probably, we have always wanted a big family" or "we'll see what God has in store!" or something along those lines. Keep it light and positive because I feel positively about my family.
There are plenty of other examples:
"you've got your hands full"
"you've got lots of helpers"
"you must be busy"
But, those authentic, mostly polite questions and comments are not what I'm talking about.
I am talking about rude comments. There are just some comments for which I have no good response.
The most recent was probably the worst I have ever heard.
A man said "I see you're expecting another baby?"
me: "Yes! In just a few weeks!"
man: "three boys...do you know if this one is a boy or girl?"
man: "Seems like a good time to stop."
I mean, where do you even start? Maybe it came out differently than he intended? I mean, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt; we've all said stupid things. But this one has been hard for me to get past.
I have had numerous conversations that started the same way and ended with the other person saying "Do you think you'll stop after your girl?" This is still a little bit awkward to navigate but, again, seems more like genuine curiosity. And it's certainly much less offensive than "seems like a good time to stop".
The only thing I could think to say was "Seems like a good time to punch you in the face".
But I decided against that because, well, that's not very charitable.
I kind of half smiled and walked away because, honestly, what else was there to do at that point?
Do you have these awkward conversations? And do you have a good response? Please share.