12.12.2010

Lazy Saturday

Yesterday might have been the perfect day. I love lazy Saturdays hanging out with my family! Joe has started a new tradition with the boys in the last couple of months. He lets me sleep in on Saturdays and they all get up and watch a movie and make a big breakfast. Yesterday was pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Yum-0. I got up at 9:30 (which was AMAZING!) and ate breakfast while I watched them chase each other, laughing and roughhousing for quite a while.

Then we got all bundled up and headed out to play in the snow (for the first time this winter!) We actually didn't have that much on the ground...maybe an inch? But it was enough and it was about 25 degrees so the boys weren't freezing. They had a blast. I took some pictures that I'm excited to post soon...you'll notice there are more of Judah, though, because he was the only one I could get to stand still for longer than .3 seconds. I also took some hilarious video...I will tell you that Joe got very creative with some snow activities using things that we already had in our garage...but I won't say any more than that. I'll leave you in suspense because it will be better to just see the video! SO funny.

We had lunch. The boys both napped. We watched some TV. I knitted.

The only downside to yesterday was that we ended up with blizzard conditions by the end of the day. 50 MPH winds made for lots of blowing snow and white out conditions. I was supposed to go to Ames and have dinner with some friends. I tried to go, but I ended up turning around just outside of town because I couldn't.see.anything. I was really disappointed I didn't make it to see those girls! But, better to be safe. SO, came home and ate dinner with the boys. We got into some PJs and watched "It's a Meaningful Life" (which is the current favorite in our house. I have only seen it approximately 30 times now.) :)

Tucked the boys in. Had a pomegranate (have I mentioned that they are FANTASTIC? They are such a yummy winter treat). Watched Community. Watched The Office.

Good day.

I have some really fun stories about the boys to share one of these days! But, Judah just woke up, so I better go get him! I also have to figure out if we'll be able to make it to church today! Hoping the weather is better soon!

12.06.2010

The Name

So, as I said, I need to fill you in on how Silas got his name!

I first suggested the name Silas months ago. And, as you will recall, Joe was not a fan. Not a fan at all. So, we dropped the name and didn't talk about it much after that.

Well, didn't talk about it much seriously. Occasionally I would bring it up again just to see his reaction. That's when Joe told me that if I named our son Silas he would call him Kevin. :) If you happen to be in women's Bible study with me, you'll recall that (when he joined us for dinner one night) Joe made some other extreme comments about how much he disliked the name Silas. I'll leave it at that.

In my mind, it was totally off the table. I stopped thinking of it as an option at all.

But then, one night, we were telling the "Silas/Kevin" story to some friends and Joe asked them to vote between the names Josiah and Silas. They both chose Silas without a second thought.

Joe got all flustered about that and then started asking people to vote between Elijah and Silas and Silas kept winning out...much more often than he had anticipated.

Fast forward a couple of weeks (we still hadn't been talking about Silas as a name option at this point). Joe comes home from some late appointments and the boys are in bed. Pretty much the first thing he said when he came in the door was "I have a surprise for you".

...and the rest of the conversation went like this:

Me: "....ok..."
Joe: "I've been thinking about it a lot"
Me. "....ok...you're kind of freaking me out...just tell me"
Joe: "I think his name is Silas"
Me: "no you don't! You hate that name!"
Joe: "No, I'm serious. I think that's his name."
Me: "What?? When did that happen?"
Joe: "I don't know. I just keep thinking about it and the more I say it and the more I hear other people say it the more I think that's his name. So we can make it official now."
Me: "Uh, no!"
Joe: "What? Why?"
Me: "Because now I've been trying to convince myself that Silas is not an option. And how do I know you're not going to change your mind again in 3 days??"
Joe: "Okay, we can think about it for a few more days"

A few days later we were all calling him Silas. Roman too.

And Judah saying "Si-yes" is pretty much the cutest thing you've ever heard in your life.

And, in case you aren't familiar...here is the story of the Silas.

To me the name Silas brings images of a man of strength, a man courageous enough to speak the truth regardless of the circumstances or of the consequences. It seems to fit this baby given our situation during this pregnancy.

And I pray that he, my third son, will be that sort of man. A man who walks with the Lord and who boldly brings others to know Him.

We have chosen David as his middle name. My dad's name. The name of a king, who, though sinful, was called a man after God's own heart.

We are so excited to meet you, Silas. We have already been on quite the journey together and we can't wait to share more of life with you!

Silas David

Yes! That is his name!! I am so excited to finally be able to call him by his name! (In case you are wondering what changed since this post....I'll write more on Joe's change of heart soon! :))

***

All I could think this morning, from the moment I woke up was

"only say the word and I shall be healed".

We have been praying so much for our precious baby boy. We have had so many more praying on our behalf and we are so thankful. As I got myself ready to go to our ultrasound this morning, I just kept thinking "God, you can. Only you can. All you have to do is choose to heal this pregnancy, it will happen."

Please, Father.

***

Don't ever let anyone tell you that God doesn't perform miracles. Two months ago, this was a "hopeless" cause. We were told that the placenta was not likely to move. We were told to prepare for bed rest and a C-section. They said we should work on finding people who would be able to help us. Be sure to watch for any spotting, come in right away if there are any contractions. Be careful. Nothing strenuous. If you begin labor on your own, this could quickly become a very dangerous situation.

We said "We'll be praying". The doctor and the ultrasound tech both said "I think that's nice".

Nice? Well, I suppose.

Powerful? Yes. Most certainly.

Our God is a warrior.

***

I also want to say that I know there are some mamas out there who have prayed for their babies and their prayer was not answered the way that they had hoped. There are some people who have begged and pleaded on behalf of some more dangerous, more pressing matter, and have walked away disappointed.

I don't have answers for all of that.

But, here's what I do know. We serve a God who is good all the time. Even when we don't understand what's happening around us or to us, He is good. Even though we live in a fallen world where death and destruction and disillusionment are daily occurances, He is good.

***

I came across this verse in Deuteronomy just a couple of weeks after we found out about this complication in our pregnancy. And it was one of those times when I knew that God was speaking. Not like I could hear an audible voice, but I knew. In my heart I knew this verse was meant for my eyes and my soul at that particular time.

And I knew that either way, no matter how God chose to move or chose not to move, that this verse, this truth, would be the only thing we needed. We only needed Him.

Deuteronomy 4:35
All this you were allowed to see that you might know the LORD is God
and that there is no other.

Now, obviously, Deuteronomy wasn't talking about Ruth Ann's placenta previa. This verse is referring to the way that God revealed himself to the Israelites as he freed them from Egyptian captivity...by testings, signs, and wonders, by war, with his strong hand and outstretched arm, and by great terrors. (v.34)

But, as soon as we heard, "Yes, you see this? The placenta is no longer covering any part of the cervix. This means that you can consider this a normal pregnancy from here on out". Oh, the relief. And immediately, I thought, "yes, the Lord is God, and there is no other".

God has heard us.

He has saved us.

He is a compassionate father with fierce loyalty.

He has intervened on our behalf.

Praise Immanuel! God is with us!!

12.04.2010

Shutterfly, My Hero.


Do you ever get to December and then realize that you haven't even thought about Christmas cards? Or realize that you didn't budget for Christmas cards? Or fret that, now, you probably don't even have time to send Christmas card? Or finally come to the conclusion that you don't have the energy to even think about Christmas cards along with gifts, and parties, and baking, and Advent activities?


That's me. Every year.


We have literally not sent out Christmas cards...ever.

I know, I know. I'm a huge slacker.


I'm always really good at thinking that I'm totally going to do a cutesy little letter and include beautiful photos of my cherub-like children, and then none of it comes to fruition. You already read the why part. (This is also why I am not a scrapbooker...I have so many delicious ideas... and then I get started. And then I get overwhelmed. And then Roman's scrapbook only goes up until he's two months old. Don't judge me.)

ANYWAY, all of this is to tell you that I am SO excited about Shutterfly! I mean, LOOK. HOW. CUTE.

They have adorable Christmas photo cards like the ones you see above, AND they have lots of other very affordable gift ideas like photo books or calendars (both of these items are buy one get one 1/2 off right now!)

AND...right now they are running a promotion for bloggers. Read more here to get 50 FREE photo cards!

11.30.2010

Random

...because I know you love it. Okay, I don't know that. Maybe you hate it. But, mostly because it's easy for me.

  • Another awesome thing that I caught myself saying out loud the other day: "Roman, don't step on Uncle Tony's head."
  • Roman loves to sing. He memorizes song lyrics so quickly. One of his all-time favorite songs is Mighty to Save. The other day, my mom was with us when he happened to be belting it out in the car. She asked me how much I think he understands. My response was something like, "I don't know, but to me, it doesn't really matter. At least it's in his mind and in his heart. Even if he doesn't understand much now, hopefully with time, more will sink in, and maybe some of those words will come back later in life when he needs them". Well, just a few short days later, we were at church and he was looking at his little picture Bible. He was really examining the page about the resurrection. All of a sudden he tapped me on the shoulder, and excitedly whispered "Mommy! Jesus is conquering the grave! He's conquering!" I was one proud mama.
  • Some of my favorite things about Judah these days: he says "sbappers" for "slippers". The way he tries to sing Happy Birthday. He says "Sorry did dat" everytime he gets in trouble. It's in a really deep voice and it makes me laugh every time...not so good for disciplining.
  • goodreads.com Seriously. Go get an account. We can be friends.
  • I LOVE Advent. So happy to have a Christmas tree up and to be preparing myself and my family for the coming of the King.
  • Another ultrasound next Monday. Please pray for us!
  • Blessings to you all!

11.29.2010

I'm not behind or anything...

So, I am pretty much horrible at being organized or doing anything in a timely fashion. I wasn't always this way. (Well, I may have always had these tendencies, but let's just say that I'm at the peak of not organiztion.)

So, please forgive me for the delay in this message. But, trust me, it will be worth the wait!

I'm proud to introduce you to my new nephew, Jack Vernon:



This little man was born Nov 9, weighing in at 8lb 7 oz. Isn't he handsome?

What. A. Buddy!

His big brother likes him quite a bit!

Jim and Chelsey with Carter and Jack

What a beautiful family! We are so happy for you guys and we feel so blessed to call these two little boys our nephews!

It's only killing me a tiny bit that I won't be able to hold that sweet baby until this spring! I am so looking forward to it.

11.21.2010

Another Pumpkin Recipe

Because we've been on a pumpkin kick...
and because, as Tony says, "they're so fluffy!!" (he ate 9 on his drive to SC)...
and because they are absolutely delightful...

try these:

Frosted Pumpkin Cookies

11.10.2010

The One Where I Ponder the Kitchen and the Heart

I haven't posted much lately because I am having a hard time putting my thoughts and feelings into words. It has been challenging to sort through the emotions of everything that has happened in the last month. Throw in extra crazy-pregnancy-emotions and you get a bunch of ridiculous blubbering that makes no sense whatsoever.

I actually typed out a whole post the other night and when I went back to read through it, I realized that it actually sounded like I was illiterate. It was just a bunch of words that made no sense together. Aren't you glad I didn't post that one?? :)

Anyway, I am going to try again.

The last month has been scary. I think I've pretty much already covered all the bases there.
The last month has been miraculous. God is so good and so faithful to us.
The last month has been humbling.

I know I have already said it, but I am so overwhelmed with all the help that I have received, especially from the AMAZING women at our church. It is so neat when you just a get a call saying "hey, I'm coming over on Tuesday to take the boys to the park so you can rest" or "hey, what day would you like to borrow a teenage daughter? She can play with the kids and clean your house." Seriously? I feel so so blessed. It has really made me think about the kind of woman I want to be and what I am doing right now in order to become that woman.

I feel like there are so many days that I go through my routine trying to "get by" instead of being purposeful. I hate that.

Most recently, I feel like there are days when I dwell on what I can't do--on my limitations-- instead of what is important. For example, I am not supposed to be lifting heavy things or doing anything strenuous. That means little things you wouldn't think of like laundry baskets, trash bags, little boys who don't want to go where you want them to, etc. Yes, it's frustrating to have a messy house and to not be able to lift my little guys. But does that really matter? What is the most important thing to me?

What is the point of keeping up the false appearance that I always have my act together? (that is what it has become. Sometimes I just want to have a clean house, and a delicious meal on the table, with well behaved children so that people will think I'm doing a good job) But, is that accomplishing my ultimate goal to unconditionally love my kids and show them what it means to know, love, and serve the Lord daily...despite our circumstances? And what is a "good job"? And who determines that? I think it's this: "I want to be faithful in everything, even if no one sees but Him." I answer to Him.

I am far from perfect. Far from the perfect parent. Far from the perfect wife. Far from the pefect homemaker.

So, here is my confesssion of the day:

I raise my voice sometimes. Sometimes I downright yell.
I lose my patience. A lot.
I haven't mopped my floor in weeks.
Sometimes I put in a second movie just to be able to sit quietly with my feet up.
There are days when I put my kids to bed knowing that I didn't teach them anything new.
I suck at being consistent with my God time.
My counters are sticky.
There are days when I realize that bedtime prayer is the only time I have talked to the boys about Jesus all day.
Sometimes I am rude and disrespectful to my husband.
There are days when I voice a lot more complaints than I do positive thoughts.
Sometimes I am totally selfish and want to do my own thing with no one bothering me.
I let laundry pile up for days at a time. And I don't fold my children's clothing. Ever.


I'm not proud of those things, but I needed to tell you. Because who am I helping by pretending to be the perfect mom and wife? I know I'm not really fooling anyone. This striving to seem like I have my act together all the time? It's actually pride...keeping me as a slave to himself. I'm done with that. I would rather be spending my time becoming a woman who serves her family and her friends, lovingly, no matter what the kitchen looks like.

Don't get me wrong, I like a clean house as much as the next mom, but I'd rather have a clean heart.

11.02.2010

A little Bit of Everything

So, even after all of my unloading in this post, I still hadn't realized how heavy my heart has been for the past month until we got the good news at our ultrasound last week. It's literally like a weight has been lifted. Yay for Jesus being awesome.



Now I need to catch you up on some good Roman and Judah stories!



A couple of weeks ago, Roman and I went to visit my friend Lindsay. She was kind enough to make us all kinds of fun treats to eat when we were there. One thing she had to offer was candy corn. Roman was lovin that. He kept sneaking more after I told him to stop...until I caught on and finally he gave it a rest. But, it was enough that he was all hyped up on sugar as we were leaving.

As soon as we started walking out to the car, it got really bad. He was rolling around in the leaves and would not follow me to the car. I didn't mind him playing in the leaves for a couple of minutes, but then he was seriously getting out of control. Usually if I ask him "Roman, are you going to come like a big boy, or does Mommy need to help you?" he comes right away. He's all about doing things by himself. So, when that didn't work, I just went and grabbed his hand and he came to the car. He was still squirming and squealing though...all in excitement. He could hardly even sit down in his car seat. Finally I kind of raised my voice and he snapped out of it. He looked at me very seriously and said "I had too much candy corn". HA-larious.

Then as we were driving away, I said "Roman, I had such a fun day with you!"
To which he replied "CANDY!!!!"
Love you too.

10 minutes later he was completely passed out.

Moral of the story: if you want your kid to completely OD and crash on sugar, just give them candy corn. But, remember that first you'll have to deal with the beloved sugar high. :)

My other favorite things about Roman right now are that he loves "Jamma days" because I let them stay in their pajamas occasionally...but now it's become a daily request. And that he loves letters. He is starting to write some words like "cat" and "hat".

And our sweet Judah...
He is talking all the time now...sometimes whole sentences of only-God-knows-what, but it's pretty stinking cute. We are slowly learning to understand more of his words though, and he is getting clearer and clearer. Here's what Judah has been saying:
  • "Puppies Everywhere" - when he wants to read Puppies, Puppies Everywhere
  • "go sleep"
  • "bless you"
  • "I ate it all" - which comes out more like "i a it ahh"
  • "oh my goodness"
  • "See me?" - in a really high pitched voice when he wants to come see you.
  • "where did he go?" - while playing peek-a-boo...this one is pretty hard to understand, though
  • "set...go!"
  • "that's nice"
  • "Buzz" - as in Lightyear. Duh.
  • "bapple" for "apple" :)
  • "oh no"
  • "ah, man!"
  • "boy", "sky", "house", and lots of other daily vocab type words...these are just his favorites. he must like the way they sound because he repeats them a lot.
  • "Cookies? Cake?" at the end of almost every meal...just in case I might have a treat for him
  • "get down" and "sit down" - probably because that's what he hears every 5 minutes. He's a good climber!
  • "yep"
  • He is also starting to count and can say some ABCs...still pretty random orders though. :) And he can say colors, but doesn't identify any yet.

These boys are SO much fun! It makes me so excited to see what the dynamic will be like with three of them running around!

It has been really hard for me to adjust to not lifting the boys. Mostly Judah. I know that I am being a good mom to our third little guy when I am taking it easy, but it makes me feel like a not-so-good mom to Roman and Judah. I know it's just because they don't understand, and that it is a short period of time.

Praise the Lord I have had so much help over the last several weeks! First of all, I can't say enough about my husband. He is such a good dad and has taken on so much more around the house since I am trying to do less. He puts up with all my crazy pregnancy hormones, and is so good at calming my fears. In our couples' group last week, I got all emotional when they talked about the man being the Christ figure. He has been exactly that during this whole experience. I love you, Joe.

On top of that, I have my friends and our amazing church family. I am so blessed to have several "Titus 2 women" in my life. You know who you are...and I am so so thankful for you. Thanks for teaching me what it means to be a Godly woman.

And, let's not forget my incredible brother, Tony. He has been such a blessing to our family. He deserves some kind of award for all the dishes, and diapers, and other dirty jobs he has done.

So...that was all over the place...but at least it was an update! I have been so horrible about writing lately. Please know I'm praying for all of you and your families!

Ultrasound

Hello friends!

Well, we had another ultrasound yesterday, and I am excited to tell you that we got some good news!

Really this ultrasound was not so much to look at the placenta...it was to look at the baby's spine. The last time we went in, he was feeling a bit stubborn (imagine that...my child...stubborn?) and wouldn't roll over. So, the ultrasound tech couldn't see his whole spine. She said everything else looked fine and she had no reason to think it wouldn't be normal, but we had to come back anyway. I always like to see the baby, so it was fine with me!

They usually wouldn't check on the placenta until 28 weeks - which is another month from now. So, when we went in, she reminded us that we wouldn't necessarily know anything different yet. But right away when she looked she said, "Oh, well that's moved some. I'm going to call it a partial previa". This is very encouraging news, because if the uterus continues to grow the way it has been, it's quite possible that when they check again at our next ultrasound, it will be completely out of the way!

So, basically, thank you, THANK YOU for your prayers! Keep them coming because they are WORKING!

We are not completely "out of the woods" yet, of course. I still need to maintain the same precautions that I have been taking to be sure that we don't put any undue pressure on the placenta. But we are hopeful that this movement, and the continued movement of the placenta might give us the chance to have another natural birth!

And, even if the placenta doesn't move any more, even if we still have to have a C-section, a partial previa is much less of a risk to the baby's safety.

But, as we have seen, God is bigger than this situation and we are so thankful for the way he has been faithful to hear and answer our prayers!

Thanks again for joining us on this journey! Love you you all...


Jeremiah 29:12
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.