Thoughts on Pregnancy

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my third child. And it is nothing less than miraculous. Maybe that sounds cliche but, let me tell you, I mean it with the utmost sincerity from my heart. I love being pregnant. A friend of mine recently asked me why I so loved this whole experience and I thought I would share a few things that have become crystal clear to me, and/or things that have left me full of awe in this incredible journey. I don't want to forget the precious things about this season of my life.





The whole design of marriage and sexuality and pregnancy is just astounding. It's amazing to me that God made men and women so that we don't make sense apart from each other. Like lock and key we fit together and, in that union, we are able to partner with Him to create life. The weight of this reality is overlooked so often in our society. We don't realize, I mean, we don't really comprehend that each time we choose to become one, there is opportunity for life. what.a.blessing.





I love the feeling of a baby moving inside of me. It's the craziest way to bring a new person in the world, but I'm so glad that He made it that way.





I love that, when I'm pregnant (and aside from the times when I'm complaining about aches and pains or heartburn...oh, the heartburn...), my body is doing what it was created to do. Yes, our first BLESSING was fertility:

Gen 1:28

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply".

How often do we hear fertility referred to as a blessing? I wish it were a more common way of thinking. I never get over the "wow factor" of being with child.





I love that I get to be a living, breathing pro-life witness. Babies are a gift from God. Nothing says it more clearly than a pregnant woman.





I love that my husband is proud to have a pregnant wife.

I love that pregnancy gives us the opportunity to share more of our story with people. It seems that people are more open to discussing children/family/your beliefs when they can see that you are pregnant. I am happy that we can answer people's honest questions. For example, we have heard a lot of this one: "Do you think you'll have more?" or "Will you keep trying until you get a girl?" They are totally innocent and genuine questions, and are in no way offensive. I'm glad that gives us the chance to talk about how we use NFP and how we discern God's will for our family on a monthly basis. It's a really novel concept to some...I think because many people don't necessarily consider fertility something to discern.

I love that, especially as a woman, this experience connects me to women all over the world.





I love that this life-giving love connects me to our Blessed Mother. Since experiencing pregnancy and parenting, I have reflected so much more on the life of Mary and the role that she played in Salvation history.





I love that at communion, when the priest presents the host and says "this is my body given up for you", I have a little bit more understanding about the meaning of those words.





I love that, in labor, I get to share a tiny amount of Christ's suffering, knowing that it will ultimately bring life and love. It makes me understand why we call it his Passion.


There are so many other reasons that could be listed, but these are a few that are especially dear to my heart.


PS - I would like to be praying for all of you while I am in labor. Leave a comment or send me an e-mail letting me know how I can be praying for you and for your family!

Weakness

I have been feeling like a bad mom rather inadequate this week. Do you ever get in those slumps? The ones where you feel like you're just trying to "make it through" your day? Where surviving with a few ounces of sanity becomes the goal?

I hate feeling that way.

But, the reality is that it happens. Maybe it's just to me, but I'm guessing that some other people have felt this way before.

I could make a thousand excuses for myself - the boys haven't been sleeping as well now that they share a room, and I am 8 months pregnant and tired, and it's been so cold that we coudn't play outside and I'm crazy emotional about nothing most days, and I just need more "me" time, and on and on and on...

But I have come to realize that excuses don't change anything. I said that I hate getting to the end of my day and feeling like I haven't been purposeful, like I haven't enjoyed the little moments. If I hate it, then what has to change in order for me to change?

Not that some of those things don't factor into making a stressful day, but most of my problem right now is that I have been horribly inconsistent about having my God time. Meaning, it hasn't happened all week. How am I supposed to be giving my children good, Godly parenting when I'm not receiving it myself?

The real heart of the problem is not any of the exhausting things about having little boys. The heart of the problem is that my heart is not in the right place. I am trying and trying to make our house run smoothly and be a good mom and feel like we accomplished something by the end of the day.

But It's not about me.

If I want to give my boys love...true love...Love Himself, then it's about time to realize that this whole journey or parenting and family is about Him. I will never be capable of doing it all and doing it perfectly. The key is surrender. Because His power is made perfect in my weakness.

How freeing!

I don't want to miss out on the right nows...even the times when I feel like I can't possibly say "Judah, please don't climb that" in a nice way one more time. Because they are only little once. And I know there will come a day when I will miss saying that.

***

And how about you, dear friends, what do you do to ensure that you spend a purposeful day being truly present with your kiddos?

A Little Bit of Everything

It's about time for an update on my little guys...although I am realizing that soon I will have to call them my big boys, since they are going to have a new baby brother in 6 weeks. (SIX weeks?? Seriously. How can that be?)

Anyway, I feel like I don't even know where to start since it's been so long...so let's start with Christmas....because, well, why not?

As you can imagine, since we hadn't seen Joe's parents since last Christmas, the anticipation of their arrival was just about enough to push us overboard. I even felt like a little kid, counting down the hours.

I really wish I would have videotaped Roman's reaction when they came in the door. He was way more excited about Grandma and Grandpa coming than he was about Santa (which is fine with me). He had been talking about it for weeks and his poor little body could just NOT contain the excitment. Have you seen the Saturday Night Live skit, "Surprise Party"? If you haven't, do yourself a favor and click on that link. So.Funny.

Anyway, Roman's reaction reminded me of that girl. He ran up and down the hall and all around the living room just screaming and laughing like crazy. It was awesome.

Their stay was filled with laughter, good conversation, celebrating, shopping, napping, movies, presents, trips to Dutch Oven Bakery (SO much sugar), lots of love and attention from aunts and uncle, singing, Mass, toy trains, horsey rides, playing in the snow, Settlers of Catan, Apples to Apples, and too many other fun things to list. If you really want a good recap, you should watch Mary's video. You can find it here.

Oh. And Roman's first Christmas play.

Yep. Roman was a cow in his first theatrical production. Some friends of ours from church, that homeschool their kids, like to do monthly recitals at one of the local nursing homes. So, they invited us to join them for their Christmas play. I would like to tell you that Roman was a natural on stage but, well...let me just show you:

Do you see the cow? Riding the horse? Directly in front of the Holy Family?

And here...rearranging the set. This one honestly makes me laugh out loud every time.


I'm not saying he doesn't have a future in theatre, I'm just saying we might need to reign it in a little.



In all seriousness, he did pretty well and he had a lot of fun. We just need to figure out how to get through to him that he is not, in fact, the center of attention at all times.

Anyway, it took us a while to recover from the withdrawl of all the Pomettos leaving. And since then? Well, we've had some big changes when it comes to living arrangements. And by "we" I mean Roman and Judah.

It was early in December that Judah (just shy of 18 months old at the time) learned how to climb out of his crib. As I have mentioned, he climbs just about everything, so honestly, I was surprised we made it that far. Anyway, we avoided moving him to a "big boy bed" for a while because we weren't quite sure how to go about doing it, since he would be sharing a room with Roman. After Joe's parents left, though, it was time to break down and make the switch.

It went surprisingly well. It only took a few days/nights of trial and error before we figured out our system. For a while we had revert back to rocking him all the way to sleep before putting him in the room. Although now he is getting the hang of putting himself to sleep in there. The catch is that we can't put both boys in there awake. Otherwise they just spend hours jumping on the bed and laughing, which is cute, until they end up super grumpy the next day.

So, we usually put Judah down and then give him about half an hour to fall asleep and then add Romant to the room. Roman doesn't wake Judah if he's already asleep, which is great. I can't say the same for Judah, though. If he is awake in there and realizes that Roman isn't...well, he just hops right into bed with him and smacks him on the head until he wakes up. So, if we put Roman down first we have to rock Judah to sleep before putting him in there.

Anyway, that was two whole paragraphs of probably way more than anyone cares to know about bedtime routines. Riveting.

On to the funnies!!

Roman:

• one day I was playing with Roman while Judah was supposed to be napping. We could hear him getting into the closet when Roman said "Judah's not very good at sleepin." No, no he's not.
• one day at the mall, the boys discovered the "rides" - meaning the horse that rocks at about .3 mph. Too bad we weren't even nice enough to put a quarter in them. Oh, well, they were very entertained by the not-moving rides for quite a while.
• this is one of my all-time favorites: One day I was asking Roman about all the fun things he was going to with our family when they were here for Christmas. I said "Roman, what do you think you'll do with Grandma when she comes to our house?" He thought seriously for a while and said "She'll probably want to play hide and seek and watch Milo & Otis." That gave me a little chuckle and I said "yeah, she probably will". He went on to tell me that Theresa would want to watch Frosty and Rudolph and that Angela would want to go downstairs and watch Veggie Tales. Good guesses all around. Then I said "Oh! Roman! I bet I know what Grandpa will want to do when he's here! He will want to take you to the bakery to eat donuts!" Roman was very excited about this. He said "YEAH! And Grandpa has a gooood mustache!" Seriously! What a funny kid!
• Roman also likes to copy the things that I say, so when Judah gets up in the morning, I'll often hear Roman say things like "There's my sweet Judah" in a very syrupy tone :)
• One day I was singing along to some Matt Maher. It's the current favorite around here. Roman said "Mommy, let Matt Maher sing it". Thanks a lot.
• On the morning that the Pomettos left I reminded Roman that Grandma and Grandpa were going to have to go back to South Carolina. He responded, sadly, with "Is that today?"
• Roman has been turning over his puzzles and putting them together with the blank side up. What does that mean?
• Both of the boys are really into this game: "Mommy!! I got SOMETHING for your BIRTHDAY!!" which is followed by them bringing me a basket or a bag full of random toys. It's pretty hilarious and I love that Judah has caught on. His version is slightly less understandable but it's in the exact same tone that Roman says it!

Speaking of Judah:

• When we say bedtime prayers Judah often thanks Jesus for Nemo, Dory, and Crush. Can you tell what the current movie of choice is at our house??
• He also asks for food all the time. Occasionally we'll be riding in the car or playing with toys and he'll suddenly ask "Chicken?" or "Fries?" "Cake?" "Donuts?" Notice the nutritious trend in those questions.
• Judah LOVES the David books. (as does Roman. And what's not to love?) they are really cute and funny. It just priceless how excited gets about "Dayid". They are the first books that he has been able to sort of "read" on his own. He had Oh, David memorized after about a week of borrowing it from the library. :)
• Some of my other favorite things he says right now: "here comes!" (this is mostly when he's waiting for a song or video to come on.) "Oh no, wha happened?", "Yemme see it", "Are Far" for Our Father, and "Far, Sah, Hoh Spirr, Maymen" when attempting to make the sign of the cross.
• Judah is starting to understand giving kisses...like he actually aims for your mouth occasionally. It's pretty scary, though. I'm usually afraid one of three things will happen: 1. He will bite my nose. 2. He will slip a little tongue in there. 3. He will miss the mouth and get slobber all over my face. But it is still, somehow, melts my heart and he's very proud of himself when he gets a good reaction out of someone.

Silas:

• has been making me eat: Italian food, spicy things - especially buffalo chicken, and occasionally some sweets here and there - mostly chocolate, but one night it was powdered sugar donuts. Joe was nice enough to stop at a gas station and get me some that night. Although then he had to tell me: "You know, you like to pretned you have this really refined taste, but when it comes down to it, you have really podunk cravings." He cracks me up.
• Is moving around all the time. I love it.
• is going to be here so soon! I can hardly believe how fast this pregnancy has gone. You can read Roman's birth story here and Judah's here. I can only pray that Silas' will be similar to Judah's. :)
• Thanks so much for praying for him and for our family. We will never be able to thank you enough.

Alright...that's enough about us for tonight! Leave a comment and let me know how we can be praying for you! God Bless your weekend!

No Sled? No Problem.

yeah...I'm a little behind.

Remember this post about playing in the snow? From almost a month ago??

Well, I thought it was time that I finally followed up on that. I'm sure you've all been waiting on the edges of your seats in anticipation. Or, more likely, you probably don't remember that post at all . :)

Either way, you've got to see this:

1. Why yes, yes that is a recycling bin and a jump rope. I can actually hear Jeff Foxworthy making millions of dollars off of a new "You Might Be a Redneck..." joke.

2. Joe was so excited about doing something fun with the boys in the snow that he dug around in the garage until he found something to take the place of the sled-that-we-don't-have. Pretty awesome dad. And the boys loved it.

3. As Tony so eloquently put it: "Now it doesn't matter how awesome of a sled you buy...your kids will always want you to drag them around in the recycling bin." Sweet.

4. Priceless memory right here. Love my boys.

The Holy Family

The King in her womb made her visibly great with child. She had grown beautifully large with Grace himself. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Her skin streched thin over the coming Christ child.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

The Savior was knit together within her, now a living tabernacle.

And I wonder at the anticipation she must have had. Much like the anticipation all women feel

who have carried a babe. But this...this was different. This was the Son of the Most High. The heir to David's throne.

But her very life sustained his.

And she loved Him as I love mine.

And her Joseph...

I have often thought how my Joseph was appropriately named. My Joseph is much like this Godly man. A quiet hero, who needs no aknowledgement though he deserves much. A man who sacrifices all for his family. Who is obedient without a big display.

And this family is so beautiful.

I pray that our family would grow to be more like this one.

Lazy Saturday

Yesterday might have been the perfect day. I love lazy Saturdays hanging out with my family! Joe has started a new tradition with the boys in the last couple of months. He lets me sleep in on Saturdays and they all get up and watch a movie and make a big breakfast. Yesterday was pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Yum-0. I got up at 9:30 (which was AMAZING!) and ate breakfast while I watched them chase each other, laughing and roughhousing for quite a while.

Then we got all bundled up and headed out to play in the snow (for the first time this winter!) We actually didn't have that much on the ground...maybe an inch? But it was enough and it was about 25 degrees so the boys weren't freezing. They had a blast. I took some pictures that I'm excited to post soon...you'll notice there are more of Judah, though, because he was the only one I could get to stand still for longer than .3 seconds. I also took some hilarious video...I will tell you that Joe got very creative with some snow activities using things that we already had in our garage...but I won't say any more than that. I'll leave you in suspense because it will be better to just see the video! SO funny.

We had lunch. The boys both napped. We watched some TV. I knitted.

The only downside to yesterday was that we ended up with blizzard conditions by the end of the day. 50 MPH winds made for lots of blowing snow and white out conditions. I was supposed to go to Ames and have dinner with some friends. I tried to go, but I ended up turning around just outside of town because I couldn't.see.anything. I was really disappointed I didn't make it to see those girls! But, better to be safe. SO, came home and ate dinner with the boys. We got into some PJs and watched "It's a Meaningful Life" (which is the current favorite in our house. I have only seen it approximately 30 times now.) :)

Tucked the boys in. Had a pomegranate (have I mentioned that they are FANTASTIC? They are such a yummy winter treat). Watched Community. Watched The Office.

Good day.

I have some really fun stories about the boys to share one of these days! But, Judah just woke up, so I better go get him! I also have to figure out if we'll be able to make it to church today! Hoping the weather is better soon!

The Name

So, as I said, I need to fill you in on how Silas got his name!

I first suggested the name Silas months ago. And, as you will recall, Joe was not a fan. Not a fan at all. So, we dropped the name and didn't talk about it much after that.

Well, didn't talk about it much seriously. Occasionally I would bring it up again just to see his reaction. That's when Joe told me that if I named our son Silas he would call him Kevin. :) If you happen to be in women's Bible study with me, you'll recall that (when he joined us for dinner one night) Joe made some other extreme comments about how much he disliked the name Silas. I'll leave it at that.

In my mind, it was totally off the table. I stopped thinking of it as an option at all.

But then, one night, we were telling the "Silas/Kevin" story to some friends and Joe asked them to vote between the names Josiah and Silas. They both chose Silas without a second thought.

Joe got all flustered about that and then started asking people to vote between Elijah and Silas and Silas kept winning out...much more often than he had anticipated.

Fast forward a couple of weeks (we still hadn't been talking about Silas as a name option at this point). Joe comes home from some late appointments and the boys are in bed. Pretty much the first thing he said when he came in the door was "I have a surprise for you".

...and the rest of the conversation went like this:

Me: "....ok..."
Joe: "I've been thinking about it a lot"
Me. "....ok...you're kind of freaking me out...just tell me"
Joe: "I think his name is Silas"
Me: "no you don't! You hate that name!"
Joe: "No, I'm serious. I think that's his name."
Me: "What?? When did that happen?"
Joe: "I don't know. I just keep thinking about it and the more I say it and the more I hear other people say it the more I think that's his name. So we can make it official now."
Me: "Uh, no!"
Joe: "What? Why?"
Me: "Because now I've been trying to convince myself that Silas is not an option. And how do I know you're not going to change your mind again in 3 days??"
Joe: "Okay, we can think about it for a few more days"

A few days later we were all calling him Silas. Roman too.

And Judah saying "Si-yes" is pretty much the cutest thing you've ever heard in your life.

And, in case you aren't familiar...here is the story of the Silas.

To me the name Silas brings images of a man of strength, a man courageous enough to speak the truth regardless of the circumstances or of the consequences. It seems to fit this baby given our situation during this pregnancy.

And I pray that he, my third son, will be that sort of man. A man who walks with the Lord and who boldly brings others to know Him.

We have chosen David as his middle name. My dad's name. The name of a king, who, though sinful, was called a man after God's own heart.

We are so excited to meet you, Silas. We have already been on quite the journey together and we can't wait to share more of life with you!

Silas David

Yes! That is his name!! I am so excited to finally be able to call him by his name! (In case you are wondering what changed since this post....I'll write more on Joe's change of heart soon! :))

***

All I could think this morning, from the moment I woke up was

"only say the word and I shall be healed".

We have been praying so much for our precious baby boy. We have had so many more praying on our behalf and we are so thankful. As I got myself ready to go to our ultrasound this morning, I just kept thinking "God, you can. Only you can. All you have to do is choose to heal this pregnancy, it will happen."

Please, Father.

***

Don't ever let anyone tell you that God doesn't perform miracles. Two months ago, this was a "hopeless" cause. We were told that the placenta was not likely to move. We were told to prepare for bed rest and a C-section. They said we should work on finding people who would be able to help us. Be sure to watch for any spotting, come in right away if there are any contractions. Be careful. Nothing strenuous. If you begin labor on your own, this could quickly become a very dangerous situation.

We said "We'll be praying". The doctor and the ultrasound tech both said "I think that's nice".

Nice? Well, I suppose.

Powerful? Yes. Most certainly.

Our God is a warrior.

***

I also want to say that I know there are some mamas out there who have prayed for their babies and their prayer was not answered the way that they had hoped. There are some people who have begged and pleaded on behalf of some more dangerous, more pressing matter, and have walked away disappointed.

I don't have answers for all of that.

But, here's what I do know. We serve a God who is good all the time. Even when we don't understand what's happening around us or to us, He is good. Even though we live in a fallen world where death and destruction and disillusionment are daily occurances, He is good.

***

I came across this verse in Deuteronomy just a couple of weeks after we found out about this complication in our pregnancy. And it was one of those times when I knew that God was speaking. Not like I could hear an audible voice, but I knew. In my heart I knew this verse was meant for my eyes and my soul at that particular time.

And I knew that either way, no matter how God chose to move or chose not to move, that this verse, this truth, would be the only thing we needed. We only needed Him.

Deuteronomy 4:35

All this you were allowed to see that you might know the LORD is God

and that there is no other.

Now, obviously, Deuteronomy wasn't talking about Ruth Ann's placenta previa. This verse is referring to the way that God revealed himself to the Israelites as he freed them from Egyptian captivity...by testings, signs, and wonders, by war, with his strong hand and outstretched arm, and by great terrors. (v.34)

But, as soon as we heard, "Yes, you see this? The placenta is no longer covering any part of the cervix. This means that you can consider this a normal pregnancy from here on out". Oh, the relief. And immediately, I thought, "yes, the Lord is God, and there is no other".

God has heard us.

He has saved us.

He is a compassionate father with fierce loyalty.

He has intervened on our behalf.

Praise Immanuel! God is with us!!

Shutterfly, My Hero.

Do you ever get to December and then realize that you haven't even thought about Christmas cards? Or realize that you didn't budget for Christmas cards? Or fret that, now, you probably don't even have time to send Christmas card? Or finally come to the conclusion that you don't have the energy to even think about Christmas cards along with gifts, and parties, and baking, and Advent activities?

That's me. Every year.

We have literally not sent out Christmas cards...ever.

I know, I know. I'm a huge slacker.

I'm always really good at thinking that I'm totally going to do a cutesy little letter and include beautiful photos of my cherub-like children, and then none of it comes to fruition. You already read the why part. (This is also why I am not a scrapbooker...I have so many delicious ideas... and then I get started. And then I get overwhelmed. And then Roman's scrapbook only goes up until he's two months old. Don't judge me.)

ANYWAY, all of this is to tell you that I am SO excited about Shutterfly! I mean, LOOK. HOW. CUTE.

They have adorable Christmas photo cards like the ones you see above, AND they have lots of other very affordable gift ideas like photo books or calendars (both of these items are buy one get one 1/2 off right now!)

AND...right now they are running a promotion for bloggers. Read more here to get 50 FREE photo cards!

Random

...because I know you love it. Okay, I don't know that. Maybe you hate it. But, mostly because it's easy for me.

• Another awesome thing that I caught myself saying out loud the other day: "Roman, don't step on Uncle Tony's head."
• Roman loves to sing. He memorizes song lyrics so quickly. One of his all-time favorite songs is Mighty to Save. The other day, my mom was with us when he happened to be belting it out in the car. She asked me how much I think he understands. My response was something like, "I don't know, but to me, it doesn't really matter. At least it's in his mind and in his heart. Even if he doesn't understand much now, hopefully with time, more will sink in, and maybe some of those words will come back later in life when he needs them". Well, just a few short days later, we were at church and he was looking at his little picture Bible. He was really examining the page about the resurrection. All of a sudden he tapped me on the shoulder, and excitedly whispered "Mommy! Jesus is conquering the grave! He's conquering!" I was one proud mama.
• Some of my favorite things about Judah these days: he says "sbappers" for "slippers". The way he tries to sing Happy Birthday. He says "Sorry did dat" everytime he gets in trouble. It's in a really deep voice and it makes me laugh every time...not so good for disciplining.
• goodreads.com Seriously. Go get an account. We can be friends.
• I LOVE Advent. So happy to have a Christmas tree up and to be preparing myself and my family for the coming of the King.
• Another ultrasound next Monday. Please pray for us!
• Blessings to you all!